111: Embracing Authenticity to Freedom from Chronic Skin Picking | Yasmin's Story

Stories of success and healing are few and far between in the BFPA* community (*BFPA = BFRB + addiction science)

And even when you hear about someone healing from chronic skin picking, hair pulling, or nail biting, there's a little voice that says...

"It's not for me." "I'm not like them."

That's because you're not getting the full story! You're not hearing the how behind the transformation.

In this interview with one of my former clients, Yasmin, that's exactly what you'll get.

You’ll not only hear her incredible story of healing and transformation, but also the actions she took and the things we worked on together in our sessions that made all the difference.

Who knows, maybe simply through listening, you’ll gain important insight into what you can do to support your own healing as well.

Listen in to feel inspired, uplifted, and grounded in your own power through just how real and tangible this healing journey truly is. 

🟢Connect with Yamin on Instagram

🟢Email Yasmin at: hello@yasminloeffler.de

💌Book your FREE BFPA* Roadmapping Call with me

🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics

📝FREE Holistic Skin Picking & Hair Pulling Assessment - Join the waitlist

🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge

🙋‍♀️Send me a message here

My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

It's been so amazing to see you grow and to change and to become the person that you are today. And so, through all that work, how has that changed your life now? So much.

SPEAKER_01 0:11

I feel like I'm even more myself. I feel like being me has increased. So, skin picking wise, skin picking has decreased the intensity, the duration of the skin picking sessions. And I feel so much compassion for myself in everyday life. When I struggle with something, um, there's still I don't always feel compassionate about myself, but this cycle gets so much faster, and I can redirect myself and my thoughts and my feelings better and faster. And therefore, I I'm not really feeling stuck then anymore.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

You are listening to episode 111 of Beyond Skin Picking and Hair Pulling, the place to be if you want to learn how to address the root cause of why you pick, pull, or bite at your body so that you can find long-term sustainable healing. In this episode, I am interviewing a very special guest. Yasmin has been a client of mine since May 2024. We've just finished up our work together in February of this year, 2026. And in this episode, we are going to explore her healing journey, where she was before we started working together, and where she is now. So this is Yasmin's story of healing, hope, and truly learning the skills and the knowledge that she needed to help herself move forward and get on stock, just as you are capable of doing. So make sure you listen all the way to the end of this interview. Allow the truth that healing is possible to wash over you. Allow yourself to be inspired, to feel hope, and also listen out for what Yasmin shares that maybe really strikes home for you, that really hits a chord for you, because probably that's something that will help you too. There is so much to gain from this incredible interview, and I'm so excited for you to listen. And real quick, before we dive into this incredible conversation, I want to invite you to share your story with me and to receive the support that you so deeply deserve. I've had some really incredible conversations with people over the past few weeks where they've shared their stories with me, and I've shared my insights into why these people are feeling stuck and struggling with chronic skin picking or hair pulling or nail biting. But most importantly, I share what I see for them in my experience of healing from 15 years of chronic skin picking and supporting people like you to heal over the past three years. I share with them what I see will be the most powerful next steps to take in the healing journey. And this is free for you to access as well. Just go to the link in the show notes and book your free BFPA roadmapping session with me. And have an opportunity to share your story with me and feel deeply seen, heard, and understood and get tangible insights into what you can do right now to heal. I would just really first love to start with saying thank you so much for taking the time to do this because we've been working together for how long has it been? Year and a half, I think. Or more. Almost two years, I think. And your journey has really been really incredible to witness. And I know that you have so much wisdom, and just your story itself is going to be so powerful for people to hear. So thank you for your time. Uh, and I'm really looking forward to this. And so I guess the first place I want to start is what was it like for you? I guess we'll we'll go back to the beginning so we can build the picture of who Yasmin is. And what was it like for you when you were really struggling with skin picking before you started this work?

SPEAKER_01 3:40

So to start with, um I have struggled with chronic skin picking for I had I have to calculate, um, but since I was like 13 and now I'm 26, about to get 27. And it was at some time really, really bad because I simply felt completely stuck. I couldn't understand where this behavior comes from, why do I do this, and how do I get out of this? And I simply wanted it to stop, but I saw myself doing so much damage to my skin and feeling completely lost in myself with it. So I did pick at my skin on a regular daily basis, like in the morning, in the evening, and in between, whenever I needed to have a break, to have a break from my emotions or something that was going on. Um and with time I I started to wonder and to work with it. Like, where does this come from? I googled skin picking. I I Googled, I pick at my skin, and what is it? What I can't stop. I pick at my skin and I can't stop. So this was the first time the name of Dematolomania and skin picking was introduced to me. And then um, yeah, it went on for years that I explored why I have started with it and where it came from, from my family system I was living in, and what made it then stronger for me, what made the skin picking worse for me. Yeah, and then I started to follow some Instagram accounts or some people on Instagram, um, searched for skin picking there. I saw Afaila um and her account, and got so much information out of your postings, and so much insight there for me and myself, and all around all about skin picking on the behavior side, and then for me, what it is and what why I do it for me. Yeah, but at some point, as I really had all the information about myself and could really I I figured it all out by knowing the why, knowing the when, knowing my triggers, but then coming to the point of feeling completely stuck because I knew I knew all of it and I couldn't evolve, I couldn't evolve more more than that. I couldn't adjust my behavior, I couldn't adjust like the picking frequency, the intensity, and I was like in your world for I think one year at a minimum, maybe two years. We just had a couple of days ago a chat about it. What surprised me because it's a long time I yeah, was in your world and I I followed you, and then then there was I don't know, you can you can explain it what was then. I think you had an offering of Personics. Was it the Cold Turkey Challenge? The first one I ever did. Yeah, the cold turkey challenge you invited me to, and also then the Persönlichkeitsanalyse. The uh yeah, the personality test I did. Yeah, and it was for free. And I thought, okay, I really like personality tests, and I think that has so much value in it, so I'm gonna book in with you and do the test, and you um had an had an analysis call about it with me, and we checked in. And I remember, I remember one sentence, and it was about how does it serve you to do it on your own? Because we then had a chat about my skin picking and how I approach all of what I'm doing. And then it clicked for me, and I simply realized, okay, that it doesn't serve me at this point anymore. So maybe, maybe it is time after I did the cold turkey challenge and realized you have so much cool, so cool approach on all of this, and I I really liked to feel understood and feel supported. That I realized, okay, maybe, maybe it is time to work with you and get the support I I deserve and really needed to in that time.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

And I remember that as well, is that you said that you wanted to get further on your own first before you felt like I can do a bit more on my own first. I want to fix a few more things on my own first. And I remember us having that conversation and you realizing that oh, this is just me trying to protect myself. Yeah. And yeah, totally. Yeah. I remember that. And it's true that I I think this happens for a lot of people. It's that they want support, but they feel like, well, I'm not ready yet. I need to do it a bit more on my own, and then I'll be ready. And I think it is important at some point to ask ourselves, well, how is this serving me now? How is this still helping me?

SPEAKER_01 9:36

Yeah, because I remember it was the strong motivation for me to get all of this by myself. And I can remember that because in my family, from one person, when we reached out for help, this person would want it something back in return. Or it wasn't giving from the heart, but seeking for help was always a bit meh. And yeah, I think I carried this inside of me back then.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

And that makes sense, yeah. When you grow up with someone who makes it feel where there's a lot of uncertainty around what am I gonna get from this person if I'm vulnerable and I ask for help. So that makes a lot of sense. You said before that your home environment and how you grew up really contributed a lot to skin picking for you, and you see that really clearly now. So would you be open to sharing a bit about what you've noticed? The connection. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:34

Um I grew up with a parent or a step parent, if you call it like that, who was like emotionally kind of chaotic. It was an unstable emotional life, or on the emotional side, it was really unstable and kind of I have the word dangerous in my head, but to put it in context, yeah. I would say I experienced kind of emotional harm, not on a physical level, but emotionally. We always had discussions. How do you call streit in English? Uh arguments. Arguments. We always had arguments, and it was about the household, it was about when I invited friends that they that we don't be too loud and everything like that. It was kind of micromanagement from this parent side. It was not an easy place to live in in this family and in this house and to in this time of my life. Now I can see that I simply I I tried to avoid arguments. I tried to be better, to be a better child, to be a better family member, to be a better daughter, stepdaughter, whatever. But it is really important to know that for some people you never reach a common and healthy ground of agreement, and you can never reach their what is the word? The standards? Standards. Yeah, you can never reach their standards. But I tried because as a child, you try to fit in, you try to be perfect, you try to do everything to, or that was my way. Some people, some childs try the rebellious thing, but I try to fit in and meet the standards, but I I could never reach them, so there was always arguments, there was always an unsafe place. And then I found skin picking to be my safe place. I can remember that I really escaped from arguments or after arguments. I locked myself in the bathroom and stayed there for 30 minutes, cried and then picked at my skin at the same time to simply get through. And I remember that school was there also a big thing for me that increased my skin picking because I don't know really why I was good in school, but I think maybe yeah, I I felt some pressure not being the cool kid, and I had some mobbing experience in um Konsole, elementary school.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

In yeah. It's different in in the US and Australia and everywhere, so just use whatever word you want. And and just for the lists, mobbing is bullying.

SPEAKER_01 14:01

Oh, oh yeah. Thank you. Um so I see this pat pattern of trying to stay safe by fitting in and not feeling safe to express myself authentically. So school was a bit of a place of pressure, and I see that I um I don't even the German word by now hochsensible, highly highly sensitive. Yeah. So after school I really felt overwhelmed and needed a skin picking session to calm down after school and yeah, yeah, just just calming down and relax, kind of. I can see or I can imagine what this, what we're talking about, how what I shared maybe forms some kind of picture in the head of the listeners here of the podcast. And I wanted to highlight that in this time I wouldn't call my family system as that unhealthy, what I can see now. But but I want to highlight how normal it can feel when you live in these stressful situations, how normal it can feel to live in such an unnormal place. Yeah. Yeah. And I think so many people can relate to some kind of what I've shared. Yeah. So it don't it it it hasn't it don't has to be like really a traumatic experiences or abusive parents or whatever, but yeah, it was kind of emotionally abusive. But I wouldn't call it that way in yeah, I wouldn't label it as that, especially not then as a child.

SPEAKER_00 16:00

So I just want to add to what you said because I think that's really important because a lot of people they struggle with chronic skin picking, but they don't resonate with oh, but my child who wasn't horrific. Yeah. And I had a lot of really good things as a child. And it definitely can we can start to dismiss the pain that we did experience then. And if you had many, and not just you, but listen as well, if you had many experiences of not being seen, heard, or understood, if you felt like you couldn't share your fears, your concerns, or that the idea of being vulnerable made you nervous. I mean, it's gonna make everyone nervous, but if you felt like there wasn't space for that, then that is going to create a lot of pain because that is how we connect as human beings. We connect through being authentic and open and vulnerable and sharing our emotions and just being these real messy human beings. But if we have parents or caretakers who cannot handle their own emotions, they then will not be able to handle your emotions as a child. And they're also likely to take your emotions personally, and that is going to create a lot of emotional pain, a lot of emotional suppression. And so I do appreciate you bringing that up because I hear that a lot from people, and I think it's important to acknowledge that, well, if chronic stim picking is having such a big impact in your life, then there is pain from the past, and every single human being has that. I think it's a it's a rite of passage as a human to experience pain, then learn how to work through that and come out the other side.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

And when you started to make those connections between your childhood and why you were struggling with the things that you struggle with as an adult, how did that start to change how you felt about yourself or how you felt about the things that you were struggling with? Or what did it change for you?

SPEAKER_01 17:57

I felt more understanding for myself. So every time I unlocked a new thought, a new connection. It felt good because I knew it was good. It always it doesn't always feel good because there is maybe pain behind it. There is yeah, especially in the coaching sessions, there was room for all the emotions that were locked behind the information. So I felt through them. And there sometimes there was pain and sadness, but every time I felt afterwards I felt relief and I felt more connected to myself. I felt more connected to my truth, to I I felt compassion to my inner child and the Yasmin I was back then. And I felt anger towards this parent, a healthy expressed anger, and it always felt like some puzzle pieces that click together. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

It's almost like there's this deeper knowing that kept drawing you forward, kept calling you to take that next step, even if it was really uncomfortable. And I'm seeing that before we worked together, there was a lot of connections being made already, a lot of understanding, but there was a lot of time spent in the head. Yeah. Right? And then when we started working together, that allowed you the space to start to travel back down into your body and really process all the things that you are understanding.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

I love how you put it into words and summarize what I say because that's so on point. I'm glad. That's good to hear.

SPEAKER_00 19:58

And so then what for you was the most significant thing that we worked through together? Like everything? Um what's what's something that stands out to you? So on that particular thing or that moment, that session.

SPEAKER_01 20:14

Yeah, let me think for a minute. Take your time. We had so many amazing sessions. That's a difficult question. I think the most impact and so the most outstanding topic we worked on was really my relationship to that parent who is no longer in my life since 2018. So that's really great, and to really have the capacity to just look on it with a sense of relaxation because I don't have to struggle with this person right now in my life anymore. So and yeah, this relationship had such a big impact on me as a child, and even really, really raised some negative beliefs about me. So we did a great time working on that, and that would was really important. And I remember also one coaching sessions we we had more an chat about some more deeper insights of skin picking. So it wasn't really this deep emotional coaching, but more that you have you you shared really great informations about what skin picking really is, and that was also nice to see, and I can remember really good. So this is also an outstanding thing for me to realize. Skin picking is not simply a bad behavior you have to get rid of completely, but it is in an reduced and healthy way, it is an healthy behaviour, and it is self-grooming. And to get this information was so important, and yeah, I remember that too, really good.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

What did that what did it do for you? What did it change to have that perspective shift?

SPEAKER_01 22:32

To feel more normal and to mm I could then einordn like organize but restructure. Yeah, maybe restructure. I could skin picking better einordn what it what it is for me, and I'm I'm a really a visual person. Like cognitive, I love it to and I automatically get visual pictures in my head and I think visually. So to have um like kind of metaphors, metaphors and pictures, examples, what skin picking is I think you talked about the example that if you take a bird in a cage and it then it feels stress because it's not the natural environment and it um yeah tries to cope with the stress, it cleans its feathers more, and then maybe it gets to an unhealthy level. And to get yeah, to to hear of this example that really helped me to yeah, can you put it into your own beautiful words?

SPEAKER_00 23:54

That's really good. I like that that stood out to you because I can see that that kind of the the way it came to my mind as you were saying, because I'm also a very visual person, is it almost like it could be filed away inside the mind in a way that fits better. Yeah. Or it has a place.

SPEAKER_01 24:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

It's not this thing that, well, it doesn't belong here anymore. It's like, oh, it does belong just in this capacity. And the example you used with the bird, that's one that I think a lot of people resonate with. So it's where this is something if people who own birds or know a lot about birds, they've probably heard about this. But essentially, it's a common thing for birds when they're stressed or neglected. Uh, also if they have skin conditions or hormone problems, they will over-groom themselves and you'll see these birds that have no feathers or are missing patches of feathers. And for a lot of birds, when you take them out of that stressful environment and you put them into a healthy one where they have, where they can relax, where it's safe, where they receive love and care and food and entertainment as well. They get the mental stimulation that they need, they stop, and also companionship too. Then they stop picking or picking or pulling at their feathers. And that's essentially, because I actually remember this session with you so clearly. That's really looking at, okay, well, how does my lifestyle support me or how does it drain me? Is it helping me to thrive or is it a hostile environment? And I think for a lot of us, especially when we grow up in emotionally hostile environments, even if that is our normal at the time, it creates this undercurrent of I'm not okay. Even if everything external seems okay, it's like I'm not okay. And then we constantly try and do things all the time to try and fix that we're not okay when really it's learning how to sit with, like you said, that's another thing that we did a lot: learning how to really sit with the emotions that were coming up and process them and build that sense of safety inside yourself. Yeah. Yeah. And we see that for like with a lot of animals. I had a cat growing up. He over-groomed himself. He grew up in the same environment I did, so no wonder. And he had to go and ballyum. Oh, oh my to get him to stop over. He would get these on his uh forearms. Yeah. Can you say forearms for cats? I'm not sure. But the the front of his arm, front legs, he would just lick and lick and lick and lick until it was red and raw and there was no hair left. So it's written, and then I developed skin picking. So it's just really interesting to see self-grooming is a soothing, is naturally a soothing behavior.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:34

And we are naturally going to seek out those soothing behaviors in times of stress. But if that stress is unhealthy and too much, then the behavior is going to become unhealthy and too much. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, that was a great session. I agree. We did have a lot. I know that was a big question. Yeah. And so you said as well, working through the emotion that you had around your relationship with this person growing up, this this step parent that you had. What would you say was the biggest shift you experienced?

SPEAKER_01 27:13

In relation to the step parent, or yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:17

Or you know what? Because if there's two things coming to your mind, just go with anything that's coming up.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

Yeah, okay. So in relation to my stepparent, the biggest shift was to express the anger, to express the sadness, the feeling of feeling so kind of beaten up emotionally, the feeling of uh unfairness and taking the time to realize that it was so hostile to live in, to realize it was so not normal, to express this to express it into words, and I remember some sessions I sat there and cried and was so felt this belief that someone can act like that to a child. I felt the grief for myself and for the Yasmin as a child. And to feel all of this and to have a space, a safe space for it, to have someone that holds and shares this uh room for you and feeling so seen and allowed in my feelings and emotions. That was and I've I'm feeling touched right now by what rises inside of me right now emotionally. That was such a big shift.

SPEAKER_00 28:57

Yeah. I really just want to acknowledge the courage that you've always shown in every session that you've shown up in. Thank you. Because these things are hard to really sit with and process. There's a reason why we find these elaborate ways of avoiding getting that close and deep to ourselves. Because it hurts. And it's big emotion that comes up. And then we have so many beliefs wrapped around that emotion that say, I'm not allowed to feel that way, or there's something wrong about feeling that way. And it just takes an immense amount of courage to show up and be like, I'm I'm gonna do this. And that's what you did every session. Thank you. Even if you were nervous or you didn't really want to, you allowed yourself to go to that space and just see what might happen, just to trust the process.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

Yeah. And I just thought and I wanted to thank you again for creating that space because I think I started with my healing journey kind of early and got to know you in an early stage of my life. So in my in my early 20s, I hadn't much exp I hadn't much negative experience outside of outside of my then when I moved out of the house, my parents' house, and this chapter was closed. Then I had when starting with you, really first healthy experiences for just throwing my heart into this room, out of throwing my heart out, simply feeling safe and feeling allowed, being allowed to express myself and my emotions. So it is not easy to feel all these big emotions, but I always it it wasn't difficult to have the courage to. So that's what I'm trying to say, and can encourage everybody that is who is listen listening. You don't have to wait. So if you feel like it's not the right time, that's totally okay. But I'm I'm glad I ha I started in an early part of my life to explore all the things around skin picking and to start the coaching with you, because I don't know how to say it. Um in German. Yeah, especially in terms of feeling the emotions, being allowed to. Because that's so important for every part of someone's life to express emotions. So that's the foundational work we should have done in school. So better now than later. That's my view on it.

SPEAKER_00 32:06

Yeah, I agree, absolutely. And I think as well, growing up in this time where we have so much information and so much support available to us, I mean, it's really is such a blessing because you can imagine growing up in a time where, I mean, in our parents' generation, it's not that long ago that this was a topic that people just didn't talk about. Even skin picking, these kinds of struggles didn't have a name for it or wasn't it really acknowledged 10 years ago. So I love that you really took that opportunity as soon as you could, and you uh trusted your intuition and you followed through with that. And also because we got to have such an amazing experience together, it's been so amazing to see you grow and to change and to become the person that you are today. And so through all that work that connecting with those big emotions, learning how to feel and really express yourself, honoring the truth of your past, honoring that pain you ex that you experience, taking it seriously, how this is gonna be another big question. How has that changed your life now? What's different? So, what's different for you personally about how you feel about yourself? What's different about skin picking, and what's different about your external life? Okay, so much.

SPEAKER_01 33:27

Um is different right now. And still I feel like yeah, I'm even more myself. I feel like um being me has increased. So, skin picking wise, skin picking has decreased the intensity, the duration of the skin picking sessions, and I feel so much compassion for myself in in everyday life when when I struggle with something. Um, there's still I I now I see um like I have a kind of different topic I currently work on with my big and strong inner critics. So I don't always feel compassionate about myself, but I'm faster at going through the cycle of I feel something, I have thoughts about it, I elaborate this and check in in the cycle. Okay, where do I stand now? And where what what are my values and how do I want to feel? What is it? Which voice is talking there? And this cycle gets so much faster, and I can redirect myself and my thoughts and my feelings better and faster. And therefore, I I'm not really feeling stuck then anymore.

SPEAKER_00 35:01

And on that, just real quick, because I'm hearing that you've learned the skills and you understand how to get yourself unstuck, and you also understand when you're getting into that loop or that spiral, how to interrupt that and how to help yourself, which is so important because that's the whole point of the work we do together. It's not just to give you that safe space to go through all the things you need to go through and process those things, it's also to teach you the skills to help you to do that on your own. So that most of the time in day-to-day life, you can help yourself.

SPEAKER_01 35:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:34

Instead of feeling helpless or stuck or lost. And then, of course, we're human. So at some stage we may need help again. But it's knowing that most of the time I got this or figure it out because you have the skills to figure it out and to help yourself. So that's I love that that is something that you've taken away because that is empowerment to be able to essentially parent yourself when you're struggling.

SPEAKER_01 36:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:02

You've become that safe, loving, grounded parent for yourself. And you know how to return back to that when you lose sight of it as well. Because life is life, and sometimes we are going to lose sight of that. We fall back into negative mental loops or bad habits or patterns. And it's that those skills that help us to get out of it. So I think that's just awesome that that's the first thing that you share, because it's really important.

SPEAKER_01 36:31

And then a second thing is I also remember it was part one of our coaching sessions, how I put my boundaries and to be okay, to be inconvenient to others. So in my relationship with my boyfriend, or that was a big struggle for me, relationships with um a boss in a working space, uh working place, to feel okay, to not be perfect and meet every every question, every um anfolding. Um feedback. Yeah, or when the boss wants some something from you and requests. Yeah, requests. Yeah. Yeah. And to set boundaries. No, I can't come to the event. No, that's not possible for me. And no, uh no, I'm not ill. It's just I I there's my poll class, and I can't come. And my sport, my hobbies are important to me.

SPEAKER_00 37:38

How empowering was it to be able to set those kind of boundaries and be inconvenient sometimes? So empowering. Yeah, I can see it on your face right now. Just this smile, like oh, feels so good.

SPEAKER_01 37:52

Yeah. Yeah. Because when you're not as kind of, do you say, trained in that area?

SPEAKER_00 38:03

Yeah, you can say that. I mean, it's it's a skill to learn how to set boundaries, how to say no. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:09

Then first it feels like there's always some kind of um being afraid that comes with it, but in the end it feels so good. Especially when you're um bewusst about it, being aware. Yeah, being aware about it, that you're just taking the step of setting boundaries.

SPEAKER_00 38:38

That's so cool. It is, I agree, it's so cool. And then I also remember that was a big part of the work that we did.

SPEAKER_01 38:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:47

It's already two powerful combos. So understanding how to care for yourself and your emotions and parent yourself, having those skills and that understanding that knowledge, and then also how to set boundaries.

SPEAKER_01 39:03

And I have a third one, a really big one. Um, acknowledging myself as I am, loving myself as I am, and that's such an like used sentence. It's loving yourself. But but exploring the path of I am like that, and I love myself like I am, what I bring with me, what my personality is in an evolving style, and that I'm highly sensitive. So, what do I want my life to look like? I don't have to put myself in it into the box our society give and the box of expectations from others, but what do I want my life to look like? So, my life, I wanted my life to look like to have more room and space for myself to feel grounded and to relax. So it was I I made it possible for me to only work four days a week, not five, to have a flexible job with flexible working hours and not eight to four or nine to five. And now quitting my job and being fully self-employed. So really taking courage to shape your life, what you want it to look like, and what you know fits for you. Because you can shape your own life, it is all possible, and maybe there are a lot a lot of rocks in your way to first put to the side, but it's always there there's always room for for shaping, for exploring you, and that was also so empowering to know and to yeah, to know I always have the control of expressing myself and shaping therefore my life.

SPEAKER_00 41:13

Very beautifully said. And just what you've described is such a beautiful example of what happens when we start to really connect deeply to ourselves and take ourselves seriously, really allow ourselves to feel and understand what is actually important to me and start to respect ourselves through setting boundaries. Because then we start to protect our space, our existence instead of just existing to serve other people or existing to be convenient to other people, but it's being able to step outside that role and see, well, what else is there to me? What lights me up, what's important to me. And then the more connected you get to yourself, is like just like you've explained, you start to be able to take action and change little things in your life that are more in alignment, which just feels so amazing, right? Yeah. It's these little choices that you make of, oh, this is right for me, even if no one else understands. That's when you get to start really living for yourself. And it's just so incredible to hear that this is what you have, all the work that we've done together, that is what you have been working towards for yourself.

SPEAKER_01 42:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:28

Without even maybe really knowing it in the beginning.

SPEAKER_01 42:32

Yeah, sure. I thought it's all about only about skin picking.

unknown 42:37

Right.

SPEAKER_00 42:39

Yeah. And then it turns out actually, probably 90% of our sessions were not spent on skin picking. Yeah. Yeah. But then just share what's the difference in the skin picking now? How has that changed?

SPEAKER_01 42:56

As I want to start with first, as a result, you can see that my skin has improved so much. So I still get pimples, I still get breakouts, I still pick, but I don't use skin picking as emotional regulation anymore. I would say it is more about the hmm, like more about the skin care type of thing, or still a bit of gewohnheight.

SPEAKER_00 43:32

Um like you're used to it.

SPEAKER_01 43:34

Yeah. Yeah. I'm still used to it and I still have the goal to reduce it even more and to have stronger. I d I don't know if yeah, boundaries is a word for that, but more guidelines and and maybe have more a focus on my values and how I care for myself. But when I remember how it was two years ago or three years ago, I I also German. Um when I I don't feel exhausted about it anymore, I don't feel bad about it anymore, it's getting more and more to the normal and healthy place than having all the big emotions about it. I don't feel impacted by skin picking anymore. So it has decreased and like you can put numbers on it, like just da-da-da minutes. But I think more important is really how I feel about it by now and how different it was compared to the past. And that I feel more confident in my own skin, getting out there, leaving the house without makeup, and not having the perfect skin. So that's really the point. In the end, maybe you don't have your perfect skin you want to have, but you don't limit yourself. I don't limit myself and restrict myself because of my skin, maybe. So we went um into we went to um spa yesterday, and I had breakouts, and I felt a little bit uncomfortable about it, but I knew it's okay, nobody will look at your skin, and that's fine, and I feel comfortable about it, I feel comfortable in the spa, so um I enjoy to be without makeup, and this gives so much peace because as I struggled with the chronic skin picking, and we haven't our coaching, when we had hadn't our coaching, I only got into spa or into swimbad? Like a swimming pool. Yeah. Yeah. Do you call it swimming pool even when it's a big building for everybody?

SPEAKER_00 46:15

Uh there might be another word for it, but it's it's like a there's a swimming pool where you can go and do laps or kids play. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Basically.

SPEAKER_01 46:26

I went there with makeup, water-resistant wake makeup, and felt so cringe and and uncomfortable in my own skin. And the freedom you get, the freedom, freedom I have now is just difficult to put into words.

SPEAKER_00 46:44

I can see it on you. There's this deep self-acceptance that's now there for you. Yeah. And like you said before, it's that love yourself who you are. And I know we all hear that phrase all the time. It's like, yeah, it sounds like a great idea, but what? But when you really do start to actually love yourself who you are and feel that deep acceptance, regardless of if things are not perfect or incomplete, it is such a freeing feeling to know you can just exist as you are and you're actually absolutely okay, more than okay, as you are right in this moment.

SPEAKER_01 47:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:22

So what's a piece of wisdom? You've shared so much already, but I want to ask just one thing that stands out to you. The first thing that comes to your mind, what's a piece of wisdom you've acquired on this healing journey that you would like to share with the listeners who maybe are feeling a bit stuck or struggling with skin picking or hair pulling or nail biting right now? Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 47:44

What comes to my mind is you're doing the work in the messy places. It is connected to what we just said about the loving yourself. It's not the big I always have to love myself, but it is the change, the little change you do in the tiny situations and moments of messiness, of struggling, and how you answer yourself in that moment. And you are so okay where you are right now. Maybe it don't feel like that, but it is so part of your journey. And I see skin picking as a valuable thing, I don't know a better word, um, to my life right now. So it gifted me all the insights I have by now. It gifted me my path of growth. And I don't know if that really soothes um and and feeling good for someone who's uh struggling right now.

SPEAKER_00 48:59

But I want to send you so much understanding through this podcast and so much compassion and love so that you you can feel it in yourself and like can can step into this kind of frequency, get um get can experience can connect to their frequency of really being okay with yourself. Is that it? Yeah, kind of. Thank you so much for sharing that. And actually, I know we didn't discuss this beforehand, but I just wanted to give you a short moment because people probably aren't aware now that you are now a coach and you help people in their healing journeys as well, which I think is just absolutely beautiful because as we've all experienced, being able to talk about this struggle with someone who's been through it themselves makes such a big difference. Yes. So if someone wanted to get into contact with you, especially someone who speaks German and would feel more scum comfortable speaking German, especially because Yasmin, you're from Germany, in case people didn't pick up on that in this interview, then how might they be able to get in contact with you? Do you have a website or email or your social media? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:18

You can reach out to me on social media on Instagram. My handle is Yasmin with an epsilon. Yasmin. A Y, yeah. Um, like, is it a V?

SPEAKER_00 50:33

U.

SPEAKER_01 50:34

No, it's a V. It's a V.

SPEAKER_00 50:36

Yasmin. You mean with the Y? Yasmin. So Y A S M I N.

SPEAKER_01 50:41

Yeah, and then my from Victoria, the first letter, because Victoria is my second forename. And then Löfler with an O E. So my I I just say it for my German uh fellows.

SPEAKER_00 50:55

Go for it. I'm also gonna put the link in the show notes for those, anyone else. But yeah, go for it.

SPEAKER_01 51:00

Yasmin mit YV Loeffler, alles zusammengeschrieben. So all written together. And uh yeah, it is easier to uh click the link in the description. Yeah, and then you can message me there. I love messages, I love to get into touch with you personally, and you can also write me an email. It is hello. Um the the English version hello, not hello. Hello at yasminlafla.de. And yeah, I I love to hear from you.

SPEAKER_00 51:33

Beautiful. That's awesome. So I'll leave those links in the show notes if anyone wants to get in touch with Yasmin. And thank you so, so much for an amazing conversation, the interview. It's been so valuable. It's been really lovely to go back through your story and your journey again to celebrate that and all and how far you've come, and also to allow people to hear hear that healing really is possible. I mean, you are a beautiful example of that. So thank you so much for being here and sharing your story.

SPEAKER_01 52:04

Thank you. Thank you so, so much for inviting me, for uh doing the work with me, the coaching, and for being you because you simply made it possible for me.

SPEAKER_00 52:18

Thank you. I appreciate that so much. Thanks, Yasmin. I hope you got as much out of that conversation as I did. It was so incredible to go back through Jasmin's healing journey and to really see how far she truly has come. And if you are listening to this podcast, this episode, and you are a German-speaking person and you would love to get support from someone who can speak your language, make sure you go to the show notes and send Yasmin a message. She really is such an amazing person. And if you're still listening and you took something valuable away from this episode, make sure you hit like and subscribe. Leave a five star review. Thank you so, so much for your time and hanging out with us for the past hour. Have an absolutely wonderful rest of your day. I will see you next Tuesday for the next episode of Beyond Skin Picking and Hair Pulling.